Wednesday, October 08, 2014

A few months ago someone sat across the table from me. He asked me a silly question, like what was my favorite book or something. I squinched trying to remember, and I did. It was a book I had read many, many summers ago lying between the light blue sheets in my bed in Africa. I realized how much of what I am today is the product of who I used to be when I lived in Africa. A lot of my favorite things belong there...

How I wish I could go back in time. Maybe just fifteen or ten years. Or even two years. Or even two weeks. I am afraid of what awaits. Only because what used to be was much sweeter. It also seemed like we all had more time ahead of us. While I may still be able to boast about my youth, many people around me that I love have grown much older. With age comes grace, but also the imminence of death... and this is one of my greatest fears. The perpetual departure of these people...

Another favorite song (Fi yom we leila by Warda) my mother used to play on the cassette player in the sitting room of our first home in Africa...

و القدر الحلو أهو جابني.. الحلو الحلو جابني.. و جابك علشان تقابلني